Return to the Island: Call me Alexander

Yesterday was a good day.  I thought it was a bad day when I nearly passed out from exhaustion at 9:30 that evening.  I thought it was a bad day when my great idea to have the natives pick strawberries resulted in me spending several hours washing, hulling, and freezing berries.  (I forgot the natives are efficient pickers now.)  I thought it was a bad day when there were actual injuries related to the number of toys left out around the island.


I would kiss yesterday if it came back for me now.  Today can only be described as a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.* 


One of the feline inhabitants of the island simultaneously threw up on my both my family calendar and my breadmaker.  When I find out which cat did it, he had better hope he can swim.


I tracked motor oil on the carpet.  I don’t own motor oil, aside from in my car’s engine.  I was not walking in my car’s engine.  90% of my house has hard floors.  There is no motor oil on the hard floors.


Medium and Small Natives fought over feeding the felines and spilled cat food all over the floor.  Our felines eat the most expensive cat food you can buy**, so I had to pick up each tiny piece by hand.  (**Not an exaggeration.  I have researched it.)


I struggled for a full hour to get the natives to stop fighting and get ready to leave the house for the Teddy Bear picnic downtown.  I had to stop working on the food I was preparing and stuff the dough in the fridge in order to manage the natives.  After a peaceful hour of snacks, teddy bears, and songs, I was rewarded by pushing, shoving, and tantrums at the car while trying to get home.  Also I forgot to put my dough in the fridge, so it over-raised.


I tried to listen to music in order to calm myself.  The battery on my music-player died.


I finally returned the harassing calls we have been getting from a 1-800 number, only to discover that our home insurance payment is overdue, and our policy will be cancelled in two days.  It is supposed to be on autopay.  When I went online to pay it, the bill said it was due June 10, but the home page said it was due July 30.  I hope my insurance agent can swim.


And my blog keeps randomly highlighting passages.  I can't make it stop.


The chances of me surviving until tomorrow are not good.




*(Are you familiar with Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day?  If not, you should be.  Best kids’ book ever.  Some days I think it was written for me.)