To be clear, I don’t consider myself to be a lazy person. I work hard taking care of my family and home, and I strive to be intentional in my parenting. I am not the parent lounging on the sofa while my children run untamed in the street.
But every once in a while, I have delusions of grandeur. I read about another mom whose parenting seems so much more creative and put-together than mine. [In my head], she works from home part-time, which she finds fulfilling and not at all distracting or frustrating. She simultaneously homeschools her numerous and extremely well-behaved children, and at snack time she cuts their freshly-made sandwiches into individual shapes that reflect their unique personalities, so they know that they are each special and valued. She is able to do the housework and vacuuming while she sleeps so that it doesn’t distract from her parenting duties or time with her husband. And when the children ask for something to do, she always has an amazing project on hand. She whips out the fabric strips that she has made from old clothes, and teaches them how to assemble them into winter hats for the less fortunate. Or she pulls out homemade clay, which they use to make a full-scale model of the solar system, painting numbers on each planet to provide educational value to even the youngest of her children. And this is just her typical weekday. (Side note: As a society, have we really discarded the myth of June Cleaver? Or have we just traded it in for even grander illusions? Something to ponder.)
So getting back to my story…a few months ago I was struck by one of those moments in which I thought to myself, “I can do more! I can be creative, and organized, and never let a moment go to waste that could be used as a learning opportunity!” In this particular case, I had just been introduced to the concept of “Busy Bags.” Busy Bags are preassembled (meaning you personally assemble them ahead of time) bags containing activities to entertain your young ones. The idea being that if your child is bored, whether around the house or out, you can pull one of these bags out and instantly entertain them. Just like that – you have become the magical mom of your dreams! Or so the theory goes. And so I put together four Busy Bags of varying difficulty for my children, using almost entirely materials found around my house. And now for the results…
Busy Bag #1 – Plastic Eggs in a Carton
The Idea: This may have actually been the most successful of my Busy Bag endeavors. It is very simple, and intended for Andrew, who was not quite two years old when I made it. I cut an egg carton in half, drew six different colored dots in the base, and put a plastic egg of matching color in each spot. He could enjoy putting the eggs in and out of the carton, taking them apart and putting them back together, and eventually practice color recognition.
The Reality: Andrew loved it, and was great at pulling the eggs apart. However, he couldn’t put them back together. He initially enjoyed taking the eggs in and out, but before long the egg halves ended up spread all around the house while the half-carton was left out to be trampled. I spent my time trying to find and match up the separated egg halves. This still might have been a win, had it not been for the unfortunate interaction with Busy Bag #2.
Busy Bag #2 – Mini Pom Poms and a Yogurt Cup
The Idea: Again, this was intended for my youngest. I took a clean individual-sized yogurt cup, punched a few holes in the plastic lid, and put a bunch of mini pom poms in it. I helped him to open the lid and take out the pom poms, and then he was supposed to spend hours stuffing them back through the holes one by one. You are laughing at me right now, but I based this on the testimony of another mom whose two-ish-year-old child was mesmerized by this.
The Reality: Yes, you are right. Rather than exercising the attention span required to get the mini pom poms through the tiny yogurt cup holes, Andrew just opened the lid and dumped them all over the floor. Repeatedly. And who picked them up every time in between dumping episodes? Yup, it was me. Benjamin, my four-year-old, actually loved pushing the mini pom poms through the holes. He also loved the eggs from Busy Bag #1. However, this eventually led to Benjamin and Andrew moving the mini pom poms out of the yogurt cup and into the various eggs. Then they were dumped out of the eggs at various locations around the house. Basically the eggs became a more efficient means to spread the mini pom poms around.
Busy Bag #3 – Clothespins and a Number Wheel
The Idea: This one was supposed to be for Benjamin. I printed a wheel that was divided into wedges with the numbers one through ten represented in dots on the wedges. Then I took wooden clothespins and wrote the numbers one through ten on them. Since Benjamin is up for a little more challenge, in this game he was supposed to match the right numbered clothespin to the matching wedge and clip it on.
The Reality: I’m not sure this one ever made it to Benjamin, actually. Andrew found it, opened the bag, and proceeded to pull each clothespin apart into two fully separate pieces. This resulted in me spending my time trying to locate the various clothespin pieces and match them by their numbers (I had foolishly numbered them on both sides). However, after that I still had to reassemble the clothespins – not the easiest task. And since I don’t feel as though I really need practice matching numbers, I soon gave up on this one.
Busy Bag #4 – Make Your Own Cupcake
The Idea: This was the only Busy Bag that I was truly confident about. It knew it would be of interest to Sophie, my 6-year-old, and I was hoping it would entertain Benjamin as well. I printed a template and traced and cut different components for paper cupcakes. I cut out cupcakes, liners, and frosted tops, each repeated four times in an assortment of colors. Then I cut various sprinkles, marshmallows, and other “toppings” for the cupcakes. I put all of the pieces in a bag with a glue stick, and presto – a craft ready at any time! I didn’t track how long it took me to prep this one, but a half hour seems like a conservative estimate.
The Reality: I presented this to Sophie while we were visiting friends a couple of months ago. I was hoping she would enjoy creating her own very special cupcake, and then Benjamin could enjoy creating his own cupcake, and then hey – there would still be two more cupcakes left for another day! Instead, Sophie sat down and in no more than 15 minutes put together one giant multi-layered cupcake. She used only one liner, but she stacked all four cupcake pieces and all four frosting pieces on top, and then decorated it with the toppings. Unless Benjamin wanted to sprinkle a liner, there was nothing left for him to do. Granted, it was an awesome cupcake, and she was so proud to leave it for our friends as a thank you.
So to recap, after four very specific efforts to entertain and educate my children and “wow “ them with my creativity, I found myself left with a house strewn with plastic eggs and mini pom poms, a bag of disassembled clothespins, and a few leftover fake cupcake liners. The “busyness” that I had hoped to create in my children somehow boomeranged back to me. My bubble was burst.
And so you see, that is why I am returning to lazy parenting. I mean no disrespect to the creators and proponents of the Busy Bags. I still think that they are a wonderfully amazing idea. I’m sure the error is on my side. And if you are the creative, put-together mom mentioned above, please know that I have nothing but sincere respect and awe for you. It will only be a short while before I am once again struck by the random and unfounded belief that I can be a supermom, too, and then I will be looking to you for inspiration.
In the meantime, I could write a convincing argument that my lazy parenting is due to my fundamental beliefs that living simply and letting my children use their own imaginations will better serve them in the long run. But the truth is even simpler: Too much effort. For now, I accept that my children will eat snacks from a box, come up with their own crafts, and their educational activities will involve things like helping me to create a grocery list.
However, I feel compelled to share the amazing thing that my children made today, with just paper and markers (and a little bit of tape), and no involvement from me. It’s a treehouse. I may not be supermom, but somehow I still have super kids. This is awesome!
Note: I originally found all of these Busy Bag ideas at www.moneysavingmom.com, a site that has been a huge blessing to me in recent months.
