Survivor – Mom Edition: Return to the Island

Once again I find myself marooned on the island while my hubby is airlifted out.  There are three natives in my care, each larger than (s)he was during the last island competition.  Will this work in my favor, or contribute to a quicker demise?  Time will tell.


First challenge:  Acquire milk to sustain the natives.  Since my sister* is not here to milk a cow for us, I am forced to forage.  We acquire a small wagon.   I am to pull all three natives a distance of approximately five blocks in said wagon.  After a distance of five feet, I concede defeat.  Collectively, the natives weigh significantly more than me.  (“Significantly” is subjective, but I stand by my claim.)  Large Native exits the wagon, and we are able to locate the milk.  However, Medium Native, Small Native, four gallons of milk, and a jug of honey in a wagon must also weigh more than me, for I can barely pull them back to base camp.  I consider throwing supplies over the side to lighten the load, but fear that would cost me the challenge. 


Exhausted from the foraging, I begin food preparation.  During my last stay on the island, I suspected that Small Native was a saboteur familiar with advanced technology.  Now I suspect that he may actually be a cleverly disguised machine. He experiences what can only be described as a system overload.  It is clear he needs a reboot.  Unable to find a button for that, I am forced to cage him in another area of the island for his own safety until food is ready.


Finally food is distributed.  Perhaps I have waited too long for sustenance, as the table in front of me blurs and instead of human natives I see a large Whac-A-Mole game, with the natives’ heads popping up and down, shouting demands faster than I can process:


POP  – I want more milk! 
POP  – I want more grapes!
POP  – He got more grapes than me!
POP - I don’t like mayonnaise on my bread.
POP – I want more grapes!
POP - I don’t have my knees up.
POP – I’m still thirsty.
POP – I want more grapes!
POP - I miss Daddy already.
POP - I want more grapes!
POP – Are we having dessert?
POP – Are we having dessert?
POP – Are we having dessert?


As the heads pop up and down faster and faster, repeating the same words over and over, my head spins.  I can no longer focus.  I am sure it is all a dream.  But where is my mallet?  I am brought rudely back to reality by a sippy cup in the arm.


POP – Cup in your arm!  Ha ha ha!


What else will this adventure hold?  The rest of the evening was relatively uneventful.  Nonetheless, I have an unsettling feeling that “Return” in the title of a sequel never bodes well…


*My talented sister won 2nd place in the milking contest at the Sullivan County, Pennsylvania dairy event the other weekend!  I would tell you to look it up for yourself if Sullivan County were large enough for an online presence, but instead you will have to take my word for it.